Vinayak Mahtani is the CEO and cofounder of bnbme Holiday Homes.
My relationship with my wife, Shilpa, began when we were introduced back in 2004. We instantly hit it off, so marriage inevitably came next. It was just the two of us for a brief two years until our first child, our son, was born. After we had our daughter, we knew we were ready for our third baby—a business venture—to tie it all together. And that’s how our entrepreneurial venture was born in 2018.
Interestingly, we took a personality assessment test before formally getting into business together. It told us what we already knew: My weaknesses proved to be her strength and vice versa. We were almost organically aligned to be partners in business as well.
From the get-go, we decided that work and family life, being the two most key aspects of our lives, cannot exist in isolation. So we’ve found ways to establish harmony even when they spill into each other, which they often do. This effectively means there are no boundaries or “work-life balance,” so to speak. The idea is not to box the two aspects into silos, but seamlessly switch gears according to the needs of the hour. We want to ensure living and working together is both emotionally and professionally uplifting.
While this has only added a gratifying new layer to our spousal bond, it is important to mention that the foundation of our multifaceted relationship has always been respect for each other, no matter the context. Here are some ways in which we manage to maintain mutual respect in our unique setup—and what I encourage you to keep in mind if you’re thinking of embarking on a business venture with your own life partner.
Exchange frequent but constructive feedback.
When you’re running a business with several moving parts, you have to learn not to take any feedback personally. The key is to keep it healthy by delivering your insights neutrally, with the intention of dousing fires (which we as entrepreneurs constantly do), rather than placing blame. For my wife and me, appreciating the fact that the other is equally driven toward the business’ success helps us have honest conversations about what’s not working, so we can boost outcomes. In fact, we are proud to see this practice permeate our company’s culture at large.
Clearly delineate roles and scopes.
The best way to keep avoidable conflict at bay is to outline day-to-day functions and operational scope for each of you. For instance, our business manages short-term holiday rental properties. I am the founder and president of the company and oversee the international business, while my wife is the cofounder and CEO and manages our local business in Dubai, where we are based.
Defining ownership of workstreams leaves room for you to lean on each other for a second opinion—voluntarily. It eliminates the strain that often comes with overlapping functions and holds space for free-flowing creativity.
Accept that taking work home is inevitable.
As I mentioned, we both agree that work-life balance is a concept that doesn’t work for us because we believe the two aspects are deeply integrated. Conversations about work are going to creep into your personal time and vice versa, so it’s best to accept this and optimize when it does happen.
We, for example, have a home office in our bedroom and frequently use it to manage tasks that spill out of normal operating hours. But that doesn’t mean we don’t enjoy a movie or meaningful chats in the same space. This not only shapes us as business partners but also as a family. Holding exchanges about our business at home allows it to become part of our daily lives, so much so that our children are often jumping into conversations about work that strike them as interesting, which inspires larger discussions about career paths and financial independence.
Never take your time together for granted.
Appreciating the time you get together, both at home and at work, is key to not only a successful personal partnership but also a professional one. When you and your partner are busy professionals, time together becomes scarce, so appreciate the work you’re doing and be grateful for the perks it can offer.
For me, for instance, if a meeting spills over and I have to grab a late lunch, I get to do it with my wife. How many people have that privilege? When we’re overseas for work, we get to extend that trip and explore a new city as a family. I can’t think of anything better.
Understand that how you gather yourself after downfalls defines the way forward.
Avoiding hurdles altogether is impossible, so how you cope with them and move on makes all the difference. When you work with your life partner, you’re under double the pressure to not let them down. This is another reason why you must define your roles and responsibilities on both fronts very clearly. In doing so, balancing expectations and conflict resolution becomes more manageable.
Of course, dissatisfied customers, operational disruptions, communication breakdowns and such are bound to affect you from time to time. In such instances, count on each other for support and troubleshooting.
As cliché as it sounds, the truth is, the journey from life partners to business partners can be as rewarding or depleting as you make it. What I can tell you from my lived experience is that if you put in the work to ensure it’s the former, your life can take on a whole new meaning, and every chapter can become more enriching than the previous one.
Looking back, would I do anything differently? Not a chance. If you have a solid understanding with your partner and share a business idea you both are equally passionate about, I’d say there’s no greater gift than sharing more than just a family life together.
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